OK. Here's a conundrum for you...
When you've been waiting for ages for something to happen, then something actually does, why is it that you suddenly become reticent about going for it?!
It's something that's bugged me this week. I've experienced it before, but still it never ceases to stump me. I seem to wait for ages, desperately longing, hoping and praying for something to happen - and then, just when light begins to appear at the end of the tunnel, my nerve goes.
So, it's time to stand up and admit the awful truth:
...takes a deep breath...
My name is Miranda and I am a Wuss.
The support group, who are gathered around me, smile supportively and applaud my confession. "It's the first step," my Counsellor assures me, "Well done, honey."
I feel better for that. I do, really.
So, how to move on?
I always manage to overcome the Wuss-urge (that looks wrong, sorry) in the end, but for a few days there I struggle with the temptation to walk quietly away from the sparkly new opportunity before me, whistling nonchalantly, before fleeing back to the safe confines of my duvet... (Aha! The Killer Duvets strike again! It's a worldwide conspiracy!)
Editor's Note: For those readers now completely confused and seriously questioning the sanity of this blogger, please see the previous post on Comfy Duvets of Doooom (August 7th, 2007) for details of the Duvet Conspiracy Theory. Thank you.
I think the simple answer is this: Just get on with it, silly! No amount of hiding or being scared is going to move me any further forward. I have asked for this opportunity, now this is where the hard work begins. You don't just become the person in your dreams; it takes hard work and commitment.
Too often, I waste time dreaming about how great life will be when I arrive at my dream - all the hard work done, all the obstacles overcome, all the pressure off. Somehow, I never find myself daydreaming about late nights working or setbacks! Dreams are what you make them - they are a reward for working really hard, not a luxury free gift with minimum effort. And even if you could obtain your heart's desires as easily as going to the shops, would they really mean anything? The things I am most proud of in my life - the things I count as my successes and that give me the most joy - are the things I have had to work hardest to achieve, taking the biggest risks over and investing the most time in. I have to remind myself of this every time I feel like retreating under the duvet till it all goes away.
Right now, I have an opportunity which could be a real breakthrough. It scares the living jellybeans out of me and right now I'd like to walk away whistling... But if I don't grab it, taking the risk of it being another dead end, I'll never know, will I?
Right, better get busy then...
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