Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Comfy duvets of doooom...

Life is full of eternal conundrums.

Like, for instance, why is it that your hair always looks fabulous on the day you've booked a haircut? Or how come every time you park your car (or return to your parked car), there's someone trying to get into or get out of the space next to you? Or why is it that you always end up with an odd sock when you've done your washing?

Well, I thought of another one this morning... Why is it that your bed is sooo comfy when you wake up in the morning, even when you've had the worst night's sleep the night before? No matter how much you've tossed and turned during the night, desperate to get to sleep; no matter how lumpy your bed has felt or how heavy your duvet has been - when you wake up and it's time to jump into the day ahead, suddenly your bed becomes a safe, warm, cocoon and your duvet light as a cloud around you...

I found that this morning. It seemed to take an age for me to finally go to sleep last night. Yet this morning, when my alarm performed its loud, unwelcome fanfare, my bed was simply the most blissful, cosy place in the whole world. I knew I needed to jump out of bed and get ready for work, yet every atom in me was clinging to the nice, warm duvet, like a stubborn child who won't let her mum take her favourite teddy bear when it's muddy and needs a good wash.

Don't get me wrong; I love mornings. Once I'm up, that is. But that bit between waking up (all snuggly and warm) and actually lifting myself out of bed, is a real toughie!

I wonder if, somewhere in the world, there is a secret society of Bed and Duvet Manufacturers, who are in clandestine cahoots with an Anti-Capitalist cell... Their main aim is to disrupt the global economy, challenging businesses and international corporations with their subtle, cynical schemes.

"We will conquer them, my brothers, one comfy bed at a time!"

They quietly design their weapons - beds, duvets and pillows that take on an unearthly snuggliness as soon as the daylight hits them, rendering their owners helpless against their cosy charms. Unwilling to get out of bed, the hapless occupants remain, lost in comfort, missing their train or bus or forgetting the drive into work. Slowly but surely, offices and businesses, airports and factories all grind to a halt, as their workforce disappears - thus causing massive companies and industries across the world to collapse...

Hmm. I think my lack of sleep is showing now!

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