I now have a Schedule, darling...
...which is soooo scary! It's only one sheet of A4, but on it are the dates that will determine the next few months as I start to go through the editing process for Kowalski's. It's all good and I'm still completely blown away by it all, but every now and again the enormity of the task ahead dawns on me. Not only do I have to produce the best novel that I can, I then have to hope and pray that people will actually like my book - something I have no control over whatsoever...
When you're writing just for yourself, whilst you long for others to recognise your ability and like your writing, it doesn't really matter if nobody does - because you write for yourself, first and foremost. I always want to be like that, no matter whether I sell one book or a million. (I'll sell at least one because my Mum & Dad will buy one, so I'm at least assured of that sale!) So even though I'm currently editing and writing new sections for Kowalski's, I'm still writing it for myself - the only difference to before is that I now have an awful lot of other people counting on me to write something worthwhile. It's brilliant, really, when I stop to think about it - so the work is the best fun (just as long as I don't try to think too far ahead to the whole 'will people like it' scenario!)
I watched a programme tonight about celebrity chefs and so many of them referred to their cookbooks as their 'product'. I hate that: no matter how famous you get, you should never, ever lose the thrill of producing something that you've created yourself. Call me naive, but I'm convinced there must be a way of retaining that spark of joy, even if others around you are focussed on the sales figures.
I read an article about the actor Bob Hoskins once, and the writer said that even though he is one of the hardest working actors in the business, he still wanders around set on each new film he embarks on like a kid in a sweet shop. Crew members always comment that he appears to be blown away by the whole thing - not least because he's a part of it - and to the casual observer it would appear that this was the very first movie he'd ever worked on. I want to be like that - no matter whether my books sell or not.
And so, you have my personal permission to slap me if you ever see me being diva-like about writing. I don't intend to ever lose the thrill of reading the words wot I wrote - no matter what the future holds!
